Alright. I have to admit. My brain seems screwed up. I tell you why.
I seem to pronounce words wrongly nowadays. That's how bad my English is. A few examples:
Cockroach as Chocolate
Asian Kitchen as Asian Chicken
Chinese + Thai food as Chai food
Just what's wrong with me. My brain's can't coordinate well with my voice box. I think I need some elementary pronounciation classes.
Anyway. I have a dream. My dream is to open up a restaurant in the future. Getting inspired by mudpies, applepies, pineapple pies and hershey pies.
I wanna create a pie which I feel would be creative and also be a big hit in the market. A never tried before pie made with one ingredient that is popular, yet common.
Cheese pie.
Then. I am going to change my name to Charles.
And I name my shop Charles Cheese Pie.
Hahahahahahahaha. Okay sorry abit crude.
Some pictures of what I have been eating these few days.
Make a guess.
Prime minister's rib eye steak. Haha. Prime minister. Interesting.
The more common Sirlion steak. Call me gourmet loke.
Oh. I almost forgot. I said lets buy factories from donut factory. Okay that was just a joke. I am not that dumb.
Beef noodles from Asian chicken. Free beansprout and fresh leaves plucked from the bouganvilla plant.
Strawberry oreo cheesecake, changing appetite. We were only allowed to buy sliced cakes, but not the whole cake. =(
Well. As most of you have known already. I have been shortlisted into the Disney internship programme.
I have gotten into a super rare job over there. Not food and beverage, not merchandising, not operations, not custodial, not character performer, not hotel, not any mickey mouse.
I am a lifeguard. hohoho. Please do not get the wrong idea. I am not those kind of baywatch that kind of lifeguard.
Responsibilities of a lifeguard
Guarding heavily occupied areas under various conditions (surf waves, bobbing waves, etc.), monitoring guests' safety in water and on attractions, providing first aid and basic life support during guest illness/injury, and keeping pool areas clean. A swim test will be administered during your arrival week: complete 200-yard swim in a reasonable amount of time, tread water for 2 minutes using your legs only, and swim 15 yards underwater to recover a 10lb brick.
Its a specialized job okay. Not some mickey mouse job you think it is. I am virtually responsible for all that fargile lives over there. ahahaha.
posted @ 4:03 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Bridge of terabithia
Well. Watched a movie today. Its called Bridge of terabithia. Sounds cartoonish. But it was a lovely show. I'll tell you why.
Its about this young introvert boy, who never talks in school. Then one day, he met this girl, and she changed his life. They became friends, good friends. And had this dream together. Not going to tell you the dream because it's kinda lame. Well, but this dream got them going and motivated each day.
You could sense love between them. Pure joy and everything when they are together. It's just so sweet. Until one day, a tragic incident happened. The girl, died of an accident, from out of a sudden. And that happened because the guy did not ask her along for his field trip. =(
The boy was devastated, and kept blaming himself, and bla bla bla. Awww.
You know. This show made me cry for 30 minutes consecutively. The last 30 minutes of the show. My handkerchief was soaking wet. No joke. The moment the news came, my heart ached. It's as if something like that was happening to me. It was really a heart-wrenching and affective story. One moment it made you smile, the other, it made you cry. Ahh. I shall go no further, before I start sobbing again.
Josh Hutcherson. His name was Jess Aarons in the show. Brillant acting skills, definitely one for the future.
Annasophia Robb. Her name in the show was Leslie Burke. She is so really pretty and only 11 years old to date. You'll love her alot in the show, like I do. =)
They look so damn compatible. You should watch the show. I can't describe much over here.
Watch it. Love it.
posted @ 9:33 PM
Singapore Hit Awards 2007
I had planned to spend a whole day at home, resting, after all that late nights. So Saturday was designated as my off day. I had to recharge and recuperate. My pimples are blossoming, because its time of the year.
Ahh well.
Somebody spoiled my plan. That somebody told me out of a sudden that she had free tickets to the Singapore Hit Awards held at the indoor stadium. And bang. Off I went bathing and getting a change of clothes. This was something not to be missed, well at least that's what I felt before I went.
Went straight to Violet's home. Borrowed her camera. Thanks. Even though I would have preferred to have a camera with auto-focus and on full batt. Anyway its high time since I last went to the indoor stadium. The last time I went was for some Mickey mouse shit.
And I must admit I suck at photography. I think I have parkinson's disease. My hands keep shaking. Perhaps my fingers are too long.
Take 1: My fingers failed me.
Take 2: Some idiot walk past. My timing failed me.
Take 3: I hate my fingers. Well at least they dont 'vibrate' when I eat.
Went into the arena. Seating was alright. Considering its a free ticket. But there is this leaning tower that keeps getting into my line of sight.
Can you spot it. The leaning tower of Singapore.
Unfortunately, I could'nt get clear and defined images of celebrities. First thing first, we were too far away. Second, the camera don't have a auto focus function. Alright, maybe my hands were shaking, but the celebrities were moving too.
Not much of a pity because my favourite celebrities were not there.
Wheres lihom. Wheres Mayday. Wheres Jolin.
You know. Theres a policy with the Singapore hit awards. This is a dialouge which I happen to get hold off with one Singapore hit awards' organizer talking to Fang ma tong.
Organizer "Hello, ma tong. I am calling from the Singapore hit awards committee. Can I have 5 minutes of your time?"
Ma tong "Ohhh. I see. Let me guess, you wanna invite me to your programme right?"
Organizer "Wow you smart ass. Thats my sentiments exactly. So would you like to come?"
Ma tong "Ahh well. you see. hmmm. I am not one that loves money. but some would be good."
Organizer "Money would not be a problem. Anyway, just to let you know, if you have any requests you can just say directly, don't shit around the bush.
Ma tong"You really understand me well, regarding the awards, am I even in the list of nominees"
Organizer "Not to worry sir, you will be, if you attend our programme"
Ma tong "Ohh wonderful, so what are the chances of me winning"
Organizer "That I will not be sure and I have to check with the judges. But what I am sure is that if you come, you win. Simple"
Ma tong "Wooo. Great. That means I don't have to make a futile trip"
Organizer "So I have it that you, Mr Toilet Bowl Fang Ma Tong, will be able to attend the programme on the 27 Oct 2007, any withdrawal will lead to a compensation of $1. This phone conversation will be recorded and taken as a form of contract. In any case of discrepencies, it will be used as court evidence. Thank you very much for your time"
Translator: Joshua Loke
Well. I guess this is what is happening. Maybe Singapore hits award's mission statement is, "You come, you get". Simple but powerful statement.
On an end note.
Rollercoaster rides for you?
posted @ 4:15 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Well. As most of you guys know. I will be applying for the attachment programme in Disney, Orlando. So I shall commerate this decision by showing you my favourite disney character. Ah well. Its in the past anyway. I don't watch cartoons now.
This duck is the one. I am sure you all know him. I guess it is somewhat affected by the food you love to eat. haha. I love to eat dark rice, especially roasted ones. Their skins are just so succulent.
Back to Donald. In the past, I remembered that I used to get up at 10am in the morning and catch Donald duck's cartoon on Channel 5. I thought its cartoon were very hilarious and interesting. But looking back, I just could'nt imagine the childish me. Wearing donald ducks underwear. I had a donald duck toothbrush and its toothpaste. Not sure what brand was it, but it comes in a set.
Ohh. And you know in the past, there was this SCV preview thing on some channel. In that channel, there are many many small tvs showing different channels. I get damn happy and excited when I saw cartoon network broadcasting. But it always show some captain planet shit. lol and I feel damn retarding watching that small tv. Because there is no sound, so I was like a retarded pretending he understands he knows the story.
Haha. I think you all did the same. Anyway. Disney's interview is tommorow. More excitement rather than nervousness.
Wish me luck =)
posted @ 9:09 PM
Monday, October 22, 2007
Some random pictures. The sleazy karoake bar. The clean us. Oh and yes, it's a lion beside me.
Is Clare crawling. My finger just happened to be there. I swear.
This picture is worth billions. Because the bamboo got into someone's way.
Now this photo is worthless.
Stop being a zombie and pose. You know who I am referring to.
The lion and its lioness.
I thought this was hilarious. Well. Not me but the one beside me. And yes, her aspiration is to become a opera singer.
Okay la. Post nice nice 1 give you la. Actually is I nice nice. =)
Finally, guess who's the emperor?
Yesterday was great. First time for some. Er. I think its only one. A millionth time for the rest. Anyway, burger king's mozarilla cheesestick was a scam. Its like eating a chewing gum with 100% salt. And its a long time since I ate that heavenly pie from BK. Remember guys, the caramel pie thing. My god. The best pie in the world.
Anyway. I did something horrible today. No, its not a crime. And no, its not something evil or scheming. Its something natural. I think you all would have done the same if you were to wear my shoes. Never mind.
Dance dance.
posted @ 2:44 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Right. I am not supposed to drink. But I did. =(
Just hours after I recovered. I went drinking.
What a huge temptation. Can't curb.
Bar hopped today. 3 bars.
Some karoake bar at boat quay. Saw Liverpool's penalty against Everton.
Headed for China one at clarke quay. We squeezed into some ancient china bed.
Went Bar-celona next. Saw Rooney miss his penalty. And Carson and Reo-coker sent off.
Wee hours now. I gotta sleep. Yes I know.
Long day awaiting tommorrow. Yes I know.
Ahh and yes. I am not an alcoholic.
I don't love drinking. I just love having fun.
But even then. I know where I stand.
I'll take good care of myself. Don't worry mum.
I love you.
posted @ 3:59 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
Well. Firstly, I have to say, I am uber touched by raymond dedicating his longest ever post to me. I guess he is really too bored at home, keep asking us to go out.
Fell sick today. Hate sickly days. Especially having made my way to school, then the next hour, I was on my way home. Woke up early today, especially early, felt cold, but my thermometer showed that I was perfectly alright. So I went to school earlier, reaching there 30 minutes before my lesson starts. Din't want to leave the house actually, but I don't want to pangseh the guys for swimming. So I thought, maybe I just caught a cold, everything will be alright.
But it was not to be. As time passes on, I began to feel giddy. My head was spinning and I began to pant even after walking just a short distance. Felt weak and strengthless. During the tutorial, I was practically shivering inside, and found it hard to concentrate. So I gave up and went home. The tutor was nice. She was very understanding, as I spoke to her about me being sick before the tutorial started and she showed loads of concern. Have to say, I felt that I was disrespecting her when I left the class half way. So I am really sorry.
As I made my way home via the MRT again, my head began to feel heavy. I couldnt manage to get a seat on the train, and the sun was like scorching. Everytime I look on the ground, I felt like fainting. And just standing on the train makes me pant. The aircon in the MRT was cold, but I actually sweated. Cold sweat. This was perhaps the worst MRT journey in my life. Oh and I forgot to say, I always felt like vomiting whenever the MRT stops. I even placed the plastic bag on standby mode in my pocket just in case.
Reached home, felt like heavan. Home's never been so nice. I always wished my mum or dad was at home, taking care of me. But they have to work. So I took care of myself, as always, and went to sleep. Had a terrible dream. Won't want to talk about it. Woke up feeling better, and received concerning calls and smses from close ones around me. Felt loved. =)
Well. I saw this pair of FCUK jeans on friday. Love at first sight. Went straight up. Looked for the price tag. All it wrote was "Buy me, bring me home."
Saturday. Saw that jeans again. Held it up and rested it on my legs. It spoked "Wear me and I'm all yours"
Sunday. Brought it into the changing room. Wore it. Peeped into my wallet. Saw my NETs card jumping and waving frantically. Took off that jeans. Placed it back on the rack.
The old me would have just bought that denim trousers. But I am not the old me anymore. Not when I have to think how I spend now. I gave up alot of things. But I believe its all for the greater good.
Practising restraint is a virtue. Living with it is a torment.
posted @ 2:35 AM
Saturday, October 13, 2007
what the hell.
my bank account only left with $300.
No more withdrawing of money.
No more funds transfer.
No more nets payment.
I am fucked upside down.
Whatever's inside is now designated as my coffin money.
I am leaving my card at home.
Don't worry my creditors, I will return you the money.
Debtors, please step forward.
Interest shall now be charged at 50% per hour.
PLEASE PAY UP. hahahahaha.
posted @ 12:29 PM
Hello people. Finally got some time to breathe. Just finished doing what I am supposed to do. Project. Clear up everything before I enjoy my weekends. Aites. Was out today and suddenly an inspiration came into my mind. We were talking about vegetarians and how sad their life is. No pork, no chicken, no steak. I might as well die if I can't touch those. Life will become meaningless without meat. Therefore, I have came up with a brillant equation:
A life - Meat = A corpse
Wow. To be honest, my middle name is actually Einstein. Joshua 'Einstein' Loke. Hahaha. I myself have'nt been the biggest fan of vegetables. Veges dont form part of Joshua's life. They are neither a necessity or luxury, and are instead the rejects of my life. Like those tees at FOS. Don't get me wrong. I still take veges because I know they are good for my health. Just like those tees at FOS, rejects they may be, due to poor quality, but nevertheless, they are still branded goods.
Well. My favourite vegetable would be the Broccoli. Wierd choice you may think, some says its hard, some says it sucks, while others say its shite. But I love it for being shite. It tastes great to me.
Broccolis help to prevent cancers and reduces the cholesterol level of your body. People like me who always indulge in unhealthy food should take more of it. Mama mia.
Some veges I cannot take up till now, are mushrooms, bittergourds, pumpkins and capsicums. I am very fussy when it comes to food. Shall stop here. Gonna sleep. Tommorow's gonna be another long day. =)
posted @ 3:28 AM
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Queue
1 a braid of hair worn hanging down behind. 2 a file or line, esp. of people waiting their turn. 3 a FIFO-organized sequence of items, as data, messages, jobs, or the like, waiting for action.
4 to form in a line while waiting
5 to arrange into a queue.
Read number two. A queue is a line of people waiting for their turn. So I was down at Hougang Interchange queueing for this bus 165 on a particular evening. The queue was rather long in fact. So the bus came, and it was'nt as big as I had hoped that it will be, just a single storey bus. So I got worried. Worried that I would not have a place to sit. haha. I started praying for just one seat, just one, and I am not being greedy. So as the queue started moving up the bus, there was this assholic punk, with ear phones as big as 2 mashed potatoes cups from KFC. He walked straight from nowhere and into the bus. Then I was like, what the hell, will there be anymore seats left for me. And that was not all, after he walked straight in, people followed in, as though that was the real queue.
HELLO!
Where are your morals. You don't make a queue of your own, you join a queue that is made. So now there are like 2 queues, and I thought, ahhh forget it, I won't be able to get a seat. Thanks to that Zinger face with 2 mashed potatoes.
After several stops, I managed to get a seat, in a strategic location. So me being me, I took a shot of that burger.
There's him. And as I took more glances at the photo, I saw something which he did that is equilvalent to him wearing his shirt upside down. Take a look at his bag. Do you see anything?
He forgot to remove his tag. The tag was down there dangling like a windchime. For your information, the brand of his bag was Timbuk2, which does'nt come cheaply. I am not a fanatic of that bag and brands so I shall go no further. But if his motive of showing off the brand of his bag, then I guess he has succeeded. If he forgot to remove that barcode tag, then I guess there is only one word that describes his character. Dumb.
posted @ 1:27 AM
Monday, October 8, 2007
You guys know how the merlion came about. Well, I do. I shall share with you all the
Evolution of the Merlion
One day, there was this joker. He drove his BMW 3 series to a chalet in pasir ris. He sports a red goggles which resembles those which scuba divers wear.
This is how he looks. Like a bloody gay scuba diver. While watching tv, he told us, hey I am thirsty, can I have that bacardi lemon. We said sure since the taste like sai so we are not going to drink it anyway. So he comes and blow his trumpet and say, I usually drink 20 shots consecutively. We said fine, prove it to us.
There it is, 16 shots of bacardi lemon. Below is a short clip proving to you what a merlion can do when he is thirsty.
Merlion round 1.
I din't see this process so I can't say much. But all i knew is that his vomit polluted the living room and choked the sink. Can't be much worse can it. We had to bloody help him clean up.
Merlion round 2.
Not learning his lesson, this gay punk came to join us to drink. Games we played. Roulettes we span. Drinks we drank. 1 shot for gay. 2nd shot for her, and a 3rd one soon after. Then kok wee who sat beside him screamed,"Plastic bags! PLASTIC BAGS!!!". I also sat beside him and began moving towards my right knowing something is wrong. Then gay evolved into merlion. He opened his mouth, tried to say something, but his stomach got the better of him. Soon later, the merlion switched on, and began splattering its holy water to his left. And unfortunately, our dear kok wee was sitting there. He got a bath with the holy water from head to toe.
HALLELUJAH!
I saw the whole bloody process. Merlion opened his mouth, then this orangy liquid began rushing out of his gullets and then out of his mouth which was facing upwards. Then off it goes, flying up reaching its terminal velocity before gravitational forces pulled it down. And splat! Kok wee became wet.
For goodness sake, please dont call me merlion when I vomit. Look whos the real merlion.
posted @ 12:51 AM
Friday, October 5, 2007
School starts. Had 3 hour break. Went for a swim. Jessy's house. Nice popiah thanks. Loved the water. Came back late for lecture. Went clarke quay. Chilled out. Kandi bar. Under-aged. Who cares. 1 for 1 promotion. Had fun. Kept pee-ing. For I don't know why. Went home. Munching on Tolberlone. Right now.
Chalet tommorow. Excited.
posted @ 12:43 AM
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Alright. I woke up a tad too early, very rarely i get the chance to do so. School starts at 11am today, and I was supposed to wake up at 9. But i woke at 8.30 instead. How miraculous. No alarm no nothing.
Went swimming yesterday. There is this kinda like vending machine selling swimming tickets at the entrance of the complex. So I went forward, and there were 3 options given to me:
Children ticket $0.50 Adult ticket $1.00 Elderly ticket $0.50 (If I am not wrong)
So i happily chose the children ticket option, which means I have to pay less also lah. Since I think that they do not check too, and I think I am a child, well at least to my mum. I then proceed to slot the card into the machine and suddenly, there was this very loud sound.
"TEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
At that moment, I thought the machine had eyes, it knew that I am not a kid. So I panicked, my legs got wobbly, my hands turned jelly-like, my whole body became soft. Okay sorry I was exaggerating. Actually, I just turned my head to look around me, to see if there is any people over there. Or rather, is there any staffs. But luckily, there was no one patroling the area, even the office was empty. So I tried to push to door open, and it did open. What a hoax. I guess this is what you call guilty conscious.
I shall stop here. Its 9am and I should prepare for school. Many many interesting things happened yesterday, so I shall blog them another day. If I remember. =)
posted @ 8:46 AM
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
You know.
Sometimes you just need to learn how to bugger off.
And thats not only from me.
You're just an irritant.
You are dirty.
You are disgusting.
You disrupt our lives.
The worst thing is.
You don't know that.
Get lost.
Quit coming into my world
I hate those beetles.
I'll never open my windows again.
posted @ 7:12 PM
Monday, October 1, 2007
Haha alright. This post will be dedicated to Joey, who celebrates her birthday last
wednesday, 26th Sept 2007. Happy birthday Joey.
Joey
She's sweet
She's beautiful
She's cheerful
She's smart
She's polite
She's pleasant
She's obedient
She's playful
And this is her. Definitely fits everything that I've said. Looks are never deceiving.
Well, she wrote me a "love letter", which i was seriously touched. Because I met her only twice, so it's kinda surprising to receiving something of such magnitude.
This is the card she made. And yes, I can tell from one sight that this was handmade. I remember in the past when I was young, I love to stamp things almost everywhere, on my homework, on my wall and even on my underwear, be it white or black. Haha. Ohh i remembered in the past I went to stamp on my mum's lingerie. That was then, back to topic. The stamps I bought always had those good, very good or excellent sign with some cartoon character. Well, the exact same thing occured to Joey i guess, she had over 50 stampings on the card itself and on the envelope and it was some rabbit cartoon character with japanese wordings. From the looks of it, I think it is saying that i am smart or handsome or something like that. Okay sorry self praise = no praise.Look at it closer and you will see Joshua in what Joey perceives to be a suit holding Joey's hands. Bear in mind that she is in a wedding gown. HAHA. Then at the bottom of the card, Joey wrote, "I love you to be my brother". Then I thought, why the wedding suit and gown then. Holding hands is acceptable, I guess, but the gown? Haha, never mind.
Its really sweet of Joey to do something like this. It really cheers me up whenever I am down. Okay crap. I received it like only last thursday. This card will be going into my safe vault and staying there forever. Okay I am exaggerating. A picture sums it all.
Make a guess.
Prime minister's rib eye steak. Haha. Prime minister. Interesting. 
The more common Sirlion steak. Call me gourmet loke. 
Oh. I almost forgot. I said lets buy factories from donut factory. Okay that was just a joke. I am not that dumb.
Beef noodles from Asian chicken. Free beansprout and fresh leaves plucked from the bouganvilla plant. 
Strawberry oreo cheesecake, changing appetite. We were only allowed to buy sliced cakes, but not the whole cake. =(
Josh Hutcherson. His name was Jess Aarons in the show. Brillant acting skills, definitely one for the future.
Annasophia Robb. Her name in the show was Leslie Burke. She is so really pretty and only 11 years old to date. You'll love her alot in the show, like I do. =)
They look so damn compatible. You should watch the show. I can't describe much over here. 
This duck is the one. I am sure you all know him. I guess it is somewhat affected by the food you love to eat. haha. I love to eat dark rice, especially roasted ones. Their skins are just so succulent. 
The sleazy karoake bar. The clean us. Oh and yes, it's a lion beside me.
Is Clare crawling. My finger just happened to be there. I swear.
This picture is worth billions. Because the bamboo got into someone's way. 
Now this photo is worthless. 
Stop being a zombie and pose. You know who I am referring to. 
The lion and its lioness. 
I thought this was hilarious. Well. Not me but the one beside me. And yes, her aspiration is to become a opera singer. 
Okay la. Post nice nice 1 give you la. Actually is I nice nice. =)
Finally, guess who's the emperor?
He forgot to remove his tag. The tag was down there dangling like a windchime. For your information, the brand of his bag was Timbuk2, which does'nt come cheaply. I am not a fanatic of that bag and brands so I shall go no further. But if his motive of showing off the brand of his bag, then I guess he has succeeded. If he forgot to remove that barcode tag, then I guess there is only one word that describes his character. Dumb.
Look at it closer and you will see Joshua in what Joey perceives to be a suit holding Joey's hands. Bear in mind that she is in a wedding gown. HAHA. Then at the bottom of the card, Joey wrote, "I love you to be my brother". Then I thought, why the wedding suit and gown then. Holding hands is acceptable, I guess, but the gown? Haha, never mind. 
